Be Strong and Courageous

Joshua 1:6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

What does it mean to be afraid even with the sure understanding that God is with you?

Having a seizure for the first time was the most frightening experience. A total fear gripped me even as my brain misfired and malfunctioned. I couldn't control my right side - my arm and leg shook, my vision was completely disoriented, my heart raced. I felt as if I was frozen and couldn't move. I knew something was very wrong. My neuro-oncologist warned me that seizures were likely - a 50/50 chance of happening due to the tumor. There would be no warning, no call to attention, it would just occur, if it occured at all.

When it happened I was immobilized and filled with great fear.

God is sovereign and that includes timing, though He is outside of time. That first day I was in the car, with Lucia and had just pulled into the Walmart parking lot to pick up a friend. The seizure hit me like a ton of bricks, I knew I needed to park and get help immediately and was able to do so. God's perfect timing. I was able to call Chris who came to the car shortly thereafter. When Chris arrived he didn't know what was happened. "Chris, something is wrong. I need an ambulance. Is Lucia okay?" Chris reassured me that Lulu was just fine and he ran into Walmart. Somewhere inside he asked for a call to 911 and again, in God's perfect timing, an EMT was in the same vicinity. This wonderful man came out to the car and started talking to me, comforting me until the ambulance arrived.
For the next hour and a half, until I went unconscious or was too drugged to know better, I thought I was dying. I was seizing pretty severely for quite sometime. I remember saying "Please Jesus" over and over again. I was seeking my Savior in my darkest hour.
When Joshua was sent by the Lord into the promised land, God told him at least three times "Be Strong and Very Courageous". This five word command must have been told to Joshua because he was feeling weak and very afraid. In an odd way I am comforted in knowing that the man God put in charge of His people, needed such strong words of encouragement. I laugh because thinking about the people in the Bible, many need such words. God, Jesus, the Angels say - Do Not Be Afraid - over and over again. To Joshua, to Mary, to Joseph and so many others. And so, when my Pastor presented these words to me as I lay in the hospital - Be Strong and Very Courageous - I latched on. They continue to be daily stepping stones for me in this darkest of hours. EJB